


Shattered

by Secretfurrydragon



Series: Codas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abandonment, Anger, Comfort, Dean thinks his not good enough, Dean turns to alcohol, Dean's heart broken, Dean's shattered, F/M, Love, Sadness, Understanding what Mary is feeling, coarse language, low self worth, self hate, supporting - Freeform, wall building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 21:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretfurrydragon/pseuds/Secretfurrydragon
Summary: Spoilers: The Foundry. Season 12 Episode 3 CodaPlease don't read if haven't seen the episode as it contains some spoilers of the episode.





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after the episode air in Season 12. I found this the other day going through the stories I have written. So I thought I would post it. 
> 
> I hope you like it as Dean goes through a whole range of emotions after Mary leaves. The Reader is their to support both Dean and Sam after the hearts were broken. Reader tells Dean something she s been hiding for awhile. Hopefully Dean will take it or push her away? 
> 
> Sorry if I miss any warnings I do apologise. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> All comments welcome and appreciated.

Their Mother just walked out the door. Sam flinched as the door slammed close. You could see their hearts were shattering and broken by the look on their faces. Mary left as she couldn't deal with the grown up version of her son’s it was too much for her to handle. I looked at Dean and said his name, he had his head down to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. He walked away as he grabs a bottle of whiskey as he heads to his room probably to dull the pain of losing his Mother again.

Sam stood looking at me as I moved over to him. He grabs me into a tight hug and he cries into my shoulder as he bends down. I let him cry saying soothing words and rubbing his back to calm the sobs. He finally pulls away his eyes are red and puffy and he wipes his nose with the back of his hand. He sniffs as he gets himself together.

He wipes the tears as I say, “Sam?”

Sam replies with a question as his voice breaks on a sob, “why did she leave us?”

“Sam you know she was having trouble adjusting to this life, you said so yourself she was throwing herself into hunting. So needed a distraction from thinking about what she has lost. She's lost her husband and her two little boys as she remembers them Sam. Too come back and find two grown men who have managed without her for so long it wasn't right for her. She doesn't know where she fits now Sammy. Her last memory was of John being alive and you were a baby while Dean was a little boy. She feels out of place and out of her time, she doesn't understand technology and most of all she misses what she had.”

“How do you know all this Y/N?”

“We spoke a few days ago Sammy she told me how she was finding it difficult and how she was struggling to form a bond with both you and Dean. She also asked me how I felt about you both. I told her you were my best friends and I loved you both. She asked me about Dean she's seen how much I'm in love him Sam. She told me that you both are going to need me. I didn't understand at the time what she meant Sammy but now I do. I'm so sorry I should have told you.”

“No, it's ok she still would have left anyway. She was having trouble I saw it myself. Dean brushed it off as nothing but deep down I think he saw it too.”

“Sam?”

“What?”

“She um, told me to tell Dean how I feel about him. I'm not sure it's the right time?”

“He could use some comfort now this will hit him harder than me. He's lost her again.”

“I know. It doesn't make it right that she left you both but I understand why she did it. At least you have some memories of her this time Sam.”

“Yeah I saw her struggling I should have spoken with her then. Dean is shattered I saw the look on his face as she walked out the door.”

“I will go talk to him in a minute I want to make sure you're alright?”

Sam hugged me again and said, “I'll be fine.”

“If you need me I'll be with Dean,” he shook his head as I stood on tippy toes to kiss his cheek he bent down so I could reach.

He smiled a sad smile when I couldn't reach his cheek.

I whispered, “I love you Sammy.”

“I love you too Y/N.”

I left Sam sitting in the library as I took a deep breath and walked to Dean’s room. I knocked gently on the door but got no reply so I knocked louder.

Dean yelled, “go away, I don't want to talk to anyone.”

“Dean Winchester you opened this door now or I will.”

“Will what?” 

I picked the lock and said, “I will do this.”

I pushed the door open he was sitting on the floor with the half drunk bottle of whiskey sitting next to him.

“Can I come in?”

He looked at me his eyes were red with tears welling in his gorgeous green eyes. He didn't say anything so I walked over and sat down next to him. He looked visibly shattered his heart was broken into a million pieces like when you shatter a mirror. You can see all the wall had gone back up. He was closing himself off as he turned slightly away from me. I could see the anger bubbling inside of him as well as the hurt, confusion it was written all over his face.

“Dean,” I said, I didn't get any further because Dean said, “why does everyone leave me. I'm worthless, am I not good enough. That's why everyone leaves me. Sammy, Cas, Bobby, Mum, Dad, and you will leave me too when you get bored and see I'm not worth it.”

I looked at him with tears in my eyes as I knew Dean would do this as a defence he had put the walls back in place he had let down for his Mother. She has now destroyed his trust and the love he felt for her and wanted her to love him in return.

“Dean look at me.”

That was all it took he grabbed me and I straddled his lap and he cried in my arms. I never seen Dean this broken before. The sobs were heart breaking as my tears finally fell with his. I held him trying to soothing his aching soul as I rubbed my hand through his short hair. I stayed their as long as he needed me too. His heart was so torn and broken I don't know if I'm going to able to fix it. He sniffed and wiped his eyes as he pulled me back his eyes glistening with tears. They showed the sadness and the disappointment he was feeling.

“Dean,” I said gently when I lifted his chin so he would look at me. “You are not worthless. You are a wonderful person, great hunter, sexy as hell, you have mine and Sam’s backs when we are hunting which I love you for it. We need you, I need you in my life Dee, we are family. I don't want you to build the walls Dean I'm not going anywhere. You care a little too much and have such a big heart. I'm in love with you Dean. I have been for awhile.”

He looked at me in shock as first thinking how can she love me but then he's eyes soften as he gave me a sad smile.

“Dean you know your Mum was having trouble she was struggling with all this.” He listened as I continued, “for her, her last memory would have been of John, and her little boy and baby Sammy. Then she turns up here and you are both grown men and John’s dead.”

“Yeah I know she was struggling I just didn't want to believe it.”

“Everything was so different and new and she wants to mourn the lost of what she's lost Dean. When she has she will come back and you can work on being a family again.”

“I just wanted her to be happy and be with us. She was the only thing I ever wanted and get to know. I have a few memories of her but it's not the same as her being here.”

“I understand why she left you both Dean but it doesn't make it any easier for either of you. I will always be here for you and Sammy.”

Dean bent his head and kissed me lightly on the lips. When I pulled back he said, “thank you.”

Sam was standing in the doorway and I waved him over as Dean moved me to sit next to him.

Dean said, “how are you doing Sammy?”

“I'm not doing so well, it hurts Dean.”

“I know little brother I know.”

We all sat there together and both Dean and Sam rested their heads on my shoulder.

Sam said, “Y/N did you tell Dean?”

“Mm, I did tell Dean.”

Dean smiled a sad smile but he was glad I was there for them both as he grabs my hand and kisses it lightly.

Sam said, “Dean do you love Y/N?”

“Yes Sammy I do and have for a very long time.”

“Y/N I love you too.”

“I know Sam.”

“Did you just Han Solo me Y/N.”

Then we all laughed it was nice to hear them laugh as Dean turned my face and kisses me deeply on the lips. Sam kisses my head as I turn and hug them both together. I knew they would be hurting for awhile but we would be ok as we are family and family sticks together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos. It's very much appreciated. 
> 
> Keep a look out for Codas on Regarding Dean and Stuck in the Middle. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my story.


End file.
